Old Age

Noah is always so concerned about whether or not I am getting old. He is always inquiring, "Mom, are you and my dad old?? Are you getting old?? Does that make you old??? Is this going to make you old?? Who is going to take care of me when you are old?"and always in such a somber tone of voice. I respond, "I am older than I was yesterday, I am older than you, and when I am old, you will be a man and able to take care of yourself. "The truth is, I am not thrilled about it either, so quickly I try to change the subject, but my mind stays fixated on the topic...why is he so worried about that now??? Do I look old to him???  Do I act old to him??? and so the questioning continues.

Then I remember a family night out to the movies and the attendant taking tickets, pats Noah on the head and says, "You are so lucky to have Grandparent's that will bring you to the movies."
Grandparents???  Really??? I'm thinking either my hearing has gone bad and I am old, or my hearing is good and I really am old.

Then I remember the time Rick picked up Noah from school. Noah came bounding down the line of cars with his friend Parker. Noah said, "See you tomorrow Parker!" Parker responds, "Hey is that your Grandpa in there?" Fortunately Noah was able to see the humor and laughed it off.

Noah was in the car with me and I could see from my rear view mirror, that he was deep in thought. A few minutes later and again in a somber voice, he says, "Mom, do you know what I really wish?" I think, "Here it goes--a game boy, a horse, a trip to Disneyland..."I say,"What do you wish, son?"and he said, "I just wish...well I wish dad could bend over."It was all I could do to contain my surprise and my laughter.   Rick is a wonderful father. He will throw baseball after baseball to Noah and he will take him golfing.  Rick has two hip replacements, sore knees, sore shoulders, sore everything--I'm sure Noah has seen how hard it is for Rick to bend over and collect the balls.

I am a Choirister in the Primary.We are talking about building Eternal Families. Sister Harris brings a picture of a "Grandma" to discuss how she is part of the family and can contribute in many ways. "What things does your Grandma do?"and there cute Camden says it direct and plain, "Grandma's have to color their hair." Well, I have been coloring my hair for a lottta years now--so does that put me in the "Old Category?"

So just when does one make that transition into "Old Agedom" (is it when you start making up your own words:) ) Is it when you iron shirts with windex instead of the spray starch? Is it when you cook the rolls with the saran wrap still covering them? Is it when the streaks in your hair are more silver than gold? Is it when you water your plants with a glass of milk instead of water? Is it when Noah's friend's parents, have parents younger than you? Is it when you qualify for the Senior Discount (or when someone asks you, will that be 2 seniors and 1 child?)  Is it when you lose more things than you find and some of those things are the rest of your sentences? Is it when the remote in your hand does not seem to "select" the item you are pushing on until it starts ringing and you realize, you are trying to use the phone to do the remote's job? Is it when you prefer Raisin Bran to Fruit Loops? Is it when  CNN becomes the new Prime Time TV show? Is it when you are tempted to cleanse your face with Downy Wrinkle Releaser instead of Sea Breeze? Is it when you do not recognize a single Name Brand of clothing, or any of the Popular Singing Groups? Is it when the students you taught, are now teachers?  Is it when you eat more Rolaids than M&M's? Is it when you start asking too many questions? If any of the previous are qualification for "Old Age," then I am definitely old.

For the sake of Noah and my own fears, I am going to color my hair and have blonde streaks put in and attribute the above to "Blondeom."

What I learned from Noah:  He does not want his parents to grow old or at least act their age.

In Loving Memory

Death has never been my favorite subject. I know it is part of the plan, but the idea of being put in a wooden box seems so claustraphobic, and then dirt on top of that. Ugh!!! Then there is leaving loved ones behind--I just hate it!!! As a child, I remember hiding out in the car while mom, dad, grandpa and grandma Hart went to the cemetary in Menan. They went to pay their respect, clean, and decorate the grave sites of those that had passed on.

I never really looked forward to Memorial Day, even to this day. But I do believe in paying my respects. For a while, and as a single young woman, I would meet Grandma Garff out at Wasatch Memorial. We would sit on a blanket and read a cute little book and reminisce about Grandpa. Aunt Donna always sent the lovliest of flowers and this year was no different.

Now the older I get, the more people I know--Rick's Mother and Aunt have both been added to this particular cemetary. This year, we had the honor of taking Grandma Garff with us to Wasatch Memorials. We did not sit or read, but we did observe the Marriott touch. The flowers were splendid and I could tell that was pleasing to Grandma.

Rick and Noah walked over to see a few of Rick's relatives and his Mother. Then we continued our afternoon together over dinner at the Sizzler. We love being with Grandma and feel extra blessed that she is still with us in her ripe old age of 92.

The highlight of the day had to have been when Rick called me to come outside. Noah had figured out how to fly a kite and there he was with a grin as big as Texas and kite string in hand. I was proud of him. Most of the kites I tried to fly, just scooted behind me on the pavement. I was happy to end the day with a more cheerful activity.

What I learned from Noah: Memorial Day is the perfect day to fly a kite--way up high--maybe even to the edge of heaven where loved ones are looking down.

I Often Go Walking

Most of the days, my exercise routine consists of dancing with Roxy from  "Dance Dance Revolution."  Once in a while it will be so pleasant outside, that I say bye to Roxy and take a brisk walk in the fresh air. A few Saturdays ago, Noah wanted to go with me. I did not think I would be able to get much of a workout with his little legs keeping time with my long strides. It has been somewhat stressful around here with finances and me trying to deal with some challenges and worries. Sometimes I needed those walks just to clear my head.

This morning, I put on my exercise clothes. Noah has been such a good boy, while Rick and I have tried to work through some of these things. I decided to abandon the intense workout and all my distractions and to connect with my son again. I told Noah we were going on a walk together.  He was so excited that he got his red backpack and put toys, water, phone, hats and bread for the ducks. Surely there is more to life than calories and dollar bills. I was going on a walk with my son and I was going to see life as he sees it. In fact, I carried my camera to snap images from the eyes of a child.

What an adventure we had--there were ducks and ducklings, swans and breadcrumbs, throwing pebbles and skipping rocks, signs of every kind, slides and puppies, rain and sunshine. We walked on dirt trails, green grass, side walks and bark. When the rain started to fall, we started to run. While running by Noah's side, I thought, "this is amazing...this is truly a great day and I am having the time of my life doing nothing with Noah--just being. Just being with Noah is a great place to be.

We headed for home with smiles on our faces and I knew that this is the joy that I had been missing. I need more days like today, more days with Noah, more time living his experiences.

What I learned from Noah: I often go walking, but if you want an adventure, bring a child along.

Noah and the Flood and Don't Forget the Animals

I have always hoped that Noah would follow the pattern of Noah and the Ark verses the wicked King Noah, but I am not sure I knew what that would mean. Noah loves to take showers in the mornings prior to attending school, (although if he had his choice, he would still prefer to stay in bed.) Some days he will just stand up and lean against the glass and let the warm water flow over his "I'm just not ready to get up" body. I usually wash his hair and he insists on 2 or 3 washcloths to protect his eyes from the "tear free" soap. He'll toss one down and grab another. Then it is his job to finish up--neck to toe. I then leave to go get ready myself and pack his lunch.

Before leaving the bathroom, the washcloths had covered the drain and Noah thought standing in a puddle was rather fun. I pulled the washcloths to the side so the water could drain and then explained to him why he needed to be careful.

While brushing my teeth downstairs the thought came--"Go check on Noah." The thought may have even come again, but I knew Rick was in bed and if Noah needed anything, he could and would ask his father. So, I brushed it off. It wan't long before I heard a noise... a rush of some sort and I could not figure out what it was. I stepped out into the kitchen and water was pouring out of the light fixture. Immediately, I yelled "Noah!' but what was yelling going to do? The flood was here and I did not take steps to prevent it. Sure enough, by the time I got to the top of the stairs, there was innocent Noah sitting in his puddle of water.

What I learned from Noah: You can't leave him with cookies in his hand and not expect him to eat them, you need to take them away--remove them--be firm. I should have taken his wash cloths.

What I learned from Rick: It is not a good idea to soak up water on the carpet with a navy blue towel and a few other things.:)

So, we were out looking at homes and Rick decided to call one of his friends that happened to live in the area. Rick and Noah (dressed as a Pirate???) stopped at his door. The gentleman was more than happy to walk us through his home, no his lodge, no his mansion, no maybe his museum. I could not fully appreciate the mass of his home until he stood at his own majestic door. He looked the part of the needle in the haystack and believe me when I say, he is fit. He does everything extreme--helicopter skiing, big game hunting in Alaska...so it was unusual for me to picture him so small.

We stepped into the family room and I felt as if I had lost 20 pounds in comparison. There upon the whatever foot walls were mounted animals of the wild. I wish I had taken the time to count the variety of heads and asked the names of each. I could recognize a few deer, antelope, buffalo, rams, cougars...mind you, these are animals that he has killed and not just trophies he had purchased at Cabellas.

Then he took us to the lower level--Noah was in stuffed animal heaven. There before our eyes stood a full size Mountain Ram and full size Brown Bear. Noah wanted to pet them and climb on their backs, but I said emphatically "NO!" and not why it is not a good idea as I had done earlier with the flood. Noah does have a love for animals of all sorts and now we know where to gather the animals for the next flood, but what about the Ark? Easy, we stepped into the lower level garage and there was a nice sized boat to enjoy while on their elegant houseboat in Powell. We are covered:) The home was ornate and decorated in grand scale. Noah kept asking me if certain things were real gold. I think he was on a treasure hunt and I hope we did not leave with anything belonging to Rick's friend.

What I learned from Noah: Dress like a Pirate, have an adventure and discover a treasure like a pirate and if there is a flood--we have a Noah, some animals, and Jeff's houseboat in Powell.

Obstacle Course

I have been so busy with my little projects. I am not proud to say that Noah has had to entertain himself at times. One evening while working on "Once Upon a Pig Chaser,"Noah got bored. His dad was on the computer as well. We busily worked away and Noah had it in his mind that he wanted to do an obstacle course.

He set up cones in the kitchen, filled buckets with water, and so forth. I did happen to watch him run it a few times.  In and out of the cones and then dipped his head in the first bucket of water, and then to the next bucket of water and on to the finish line. It was not the cleanest of activities, but I wasn't going to complain as I was getting some work done.

Rick came out and saw all the water on the floor..."and you let him do this?" "Yes I did!" I needed to mop the floors anyway.

What I learned from Noah: Sometimes the obstacle course is the obstacle, but the floor looked nice at the end of the day.

Yard Sale

I have been going through our closets and toys for items to sell. Rick's unemployment and the recession has taken it's toll. "Kid 2 Kid" will take items that are in good condition and buy them from you. I started rounding up the items. Some were hard to part with like Noah's high chair, but rediculous to hold on to--when would I ever use that again? Noah could see what was going on and I'm not so sure he was happy that I was going to sell some of his toys and clothes. He can barely get his big toe in his Cowboy Boots and he swears that they still fit him and he will wear them tomorrow.

I then went over to "Kid 2 Kid." They were looking over the items when my phone rang. "Mom, how do you spell yard sale? I want to have a yard sale today?" "Hunny, I'm busy at the cash register, I'll be home in a moment to help you then."That answer was not satisfactory enough. He continued his pleadings and I was left with no choice, I had to hang up.

By the time I arrived home, Noah had gathered a box full of stuff. I guess he didn't have such a hard time parting with toys when money was involved. Each item had a homemade price tag carefully placed on it. There was a wood plaque with the words "Yard Sale" in large black letters. I was really impressed with his ingenuity. If only Rick or myself were as ambitious as he was, we might not be in this delimma.

I convinced him that a yard sale needed time, planning, advertising and so forth and that weekends are better. I knew he would be disheartened if he didn't have customers and he was selling things like his "Happy Meal" toys. The next weekend it happened to rain, so we have been able to bypass the yard sale for the time being.  One day, maybe one day...

What I learned from Noah: He is an entrepreneur in the making.

Please, Don't Hang Up

I had the grand opportunity of going to a wedding reception for one of my best friend's son. The whole Beck Family was in attendance and I took a trip with them back into the old neighborhood of "Aegean" and "Herring" Streets. I was taken back by the added years of reality, when in my mind I still saw "cowboys don't cry Lyle," "You Hugh," "my likie Kali" and "Nan's younger sister, Julie"...Julie has a daughter that is older than the age I see Julie in my mind. Oh, and we talked in our youth that there would be a Laurel Ellen and a Carole Jean and I finally met them. Crazy how they went from being spirit children to young mothers themselves. Then there was Brother and Sister Beck...my heart was overjoyed to be among such dear friends from such a pleasant period in my life. There are not words to express what I was witnessing, but it was beauiful just the same. I had an extremely difficult time making an exit. I was enraptured by all the tender feelings that had resurfaced.

There was the sweet smell of a spring rain in the air which only enhanced the sensations I was feeling.  I deisred to share this joy with someone who could relate and revel in the experience with me. Chelle was off to Youth Conference. So, the first thing I did when I hopped into my car, was call my father and mother. Sure enough, they were thrilled with the report. We laughed and dad encouraged and built me up. I didn't want to get off the phone and end those pleasant feelings, but Rick was calling on the other line. I wrapped things up with dad and thought to myself "do I build my son, Noah in the same manner that my parents build me? Does Noah enjoy being with me as much as I enjoy being with my parents?" All I could think about is how onry Rick and I have been with him, not because of him, but because of our current situation.

I stepped back into reality of being THE parent instead of being THE child. I phoned home. Rick was watching the game and so he handed the phone over to Noah. Noah had been kept home from school today because of a cough and cold. His little voice sounded so innocent and pure. Listening to him speak, absolutely made my heart melt. The fact that he wasn't feeling well, made me want to be with him all the more.  He talked to me about "Aliens," "Lights in the Sky," "Rain and wind," and so much more. I was enjoying being on the phone with him and didn't want him to hang up. We talked from the point of the mountain clear until Redwood Road where he said "good-bye."I wasn't ready for a "good-bye" yet...I was still in the moment. I jokingly said, "Oh, so you don't want to talk to me anymore!" The rest of the ride home was me alone with my thoughts. I wondered if that is how Heavenly Father felt. Does He love to hear my voice? Does He love to hear me talk about anything, just to hear me? Does His heart melt especially when I am needy or feeling ill? At the end of my prayers is He wishing I would not hang up just yet? Is a phonecall from my son to me, like prayer is to my Heavenly Father? I do need to talk to Him, really talk to Him, and talk to Him like I believe He is there listening and is going to respond back. I need to talk with Him the way I talked with my father only moments ago. I know He is there. I know He loves me. I know He wants to help me. I know He wants to discuss the recent issues with me. Why, knowing all I know, is it that when I kneel to pray the moment my eyes shut, my mind starts to wonder and I am filled with anxiety about not giving the respect my Heavenly Father deserves?

What I learned from Noah: Heavenly Father wants to hear my voice and I hang up way too soon.

What I learned from my father:  Talking to Heavenly Father would be a lift. He would encourage and build me in a way that only He knows how to do. Go talk to Him....and please, please don't hang up just yet.

Catch Phrase

I am worried if I don't get some of Noah's recent sayings written down, they will escape me. Here are a few that I still remember:

Regarding the olden days--"Did you have t.v. back in the day?"

Regarding things based on a true story--"Is this a real base story?"

"What are you looking at punk?"

"Whoa, didn't see that coming!"

"Mom, will you get me a snackaroo?"

Regarding being able to see down my shirt--"You better shut that hatch..."

What I learned from Noah: He is hilarious, his timing is impecable, and though I thought I would be able to remember every single word, well..."Now what was I saying?"

What I learned from Noah's Mom: WRITE IT DOWN!

"Easter Lilly.. Don't Eat Me!"

When one has a child in the home, every holiday is an event. Easter has come and gone. Ours was relatively simple, yet,  there were still some memories to note. We do not have many decorations for Easter--just enough to fit on the mantle. Last year, Da Vinci had a hey day attacking the "Harry and David" Bunny that contained a variety of Easter treats from mom and dad. My first task was to paint Mr. Bunny, replace his eyes and nose, and with clean, white, fluffy fur---give him a "new do." I have to say, he turned out better than before--Bunny Makeovers???  Don't even go there.

Immediately, Noah had to dye hard boiled eggs even though Easter was at least two weeks away. I was amazed at all the choices--glitter. flourescent, camouflage--I had to remind Noah, that I grew up in the day when there was only one choice--"PAAS" regular colors. (Kind of like our parents had to walk a mile in the snow, we had one choice to color eggs.)

Noah enjoys the Traditional Easter Egg Hunt that Aunt Linda and Uncle Mike host. There are eggs to color, eggs to find, money to count, and lots and lots of children. This year it was my hair that needed coloring and the money I counted was what it cost me to have those greys covered. I am grateful that the Rutters still wanted Noah to come. He had a fabulous time and loves the company as well as the activities.

Noah was anxiously awaiting a visit from the Easter Bunny, especially since the incident with Larry the Leprechaun. Noah is just plain thoughtful--cookies for Santa Claus, celery for Larry and carrots dipped in chocolate for the Easter Bunny.

The dinner table appeared to be empty without a center piece and so I splurged on a beautiful Easter Lilly in a pastel purple container. It seemed to liven up the Kitchen area too. Noah walked by the Lilly with a concerned look on his face. He inquired, "Mom, what is that?" and "Can you take it back?" I explained it was a beautiful Easter Lilly and no, I was not going to take it back. As the days progressed, so did the Lilly and so did Noah's concern. The plant began to bloom and what I viewed as being lovely, was creating stress for Noah. "Mom, I have been watching that plant and every day a new flower opens." I told him that was because it was a living thing. He no longer walked close by the plant. From a distance, he was waving odd toys and food by it. I asked him what he was doing. "Trying to feed the plant so it won't be hungry and eat me."Click--the light went on--I think he thought it was a Venus Flytrap like he saw in the play "Little Shop of Horrors" that Maddie was in last year.

What I learned from Noah: Children are VERY impressionable and they REMEMBER things that an adult, such as myself, would not even notice. I need to pay more attention to the details.

Strike Three (and I'm not talking about bowling)

I hope I can still remember how to post--it has been that long. There are so many wonderful distractions that I have discovered on the computer with "Smilebox" and "Shutterfly."I have a gabillion (less than a gazillion, I think) ideas and new events that I wish to address on top of magnifyng my callings and perfecting my domestic skills.

The other day the phone rang. I didn't recognize the number. It was the Marv Jensen Fitness Center calling regarding Noah's baseball team. His team was minus a coach and they asked if either my husband or myself would be interested. I discussed the matter with Rick and he said he would be willing to do it if I would help. I told them that my husband would gladly do it. When I picked up the Rosters it said that I was the Coach and Rick was my Assistant. "I AM NOT THE COACH!"

So, the first team meeting was just a clinic and doggone the Coach, if he wasn't going to be gone. Rick was going to St. George and leaving me to run things. This was not what I signed up to do--RUN THINGS. Thank goodness for BITTER cold weather. All I had to do was hand out the team shirts and caps, get them enthused about our first game on Tuesday, and give them a refreshment. Naturally, I want things to run smoothly and so I made a refreshment sign up sheet and then reminder magnets for the refrigerator. The moms of players thought "You are so organized" and the dads are like, "as if I needed a magnet to remind me and even if I did need a reminder, I wouldn't use a magnet." (Venus verses Mars thing again and that is why I need Rick to be at all the games--TO RELATE TO ALL THE DADS!)

Rick went South. I was trying to muster up the confidence to step in for Coach Rick. I could tell Noah was thrilled. I asked him if he was excited that his dad and mom were going to coach his baseball team.   He corrected me quickly, "Mom you are not the Coach, you are the ASSISTANT Coach."Strike One-- Boy was I ever put in my place.

Later during the day, I overheard him talking to Grandma about baseball, "Yeah and my dad is going to be my coach and my mom is going to be the 'INSISTANT'coach."That was Strike Two and even though it is probably true, it didn't sound too great. The next conversation was with Grandpa and by now we were loading the car. Again in a very excited voice Noah said, "I'm going to play baseball and my dad is going to coach me and my mom is going to be the 'INSENSITIVE' coach"--ouch and Strike Three.

What I learned from Noah:  No matter where Rick may be, Dad will always be the "top dog" and the leader of our home, while Mom will always be just the Assistant:) and I'll take "Assistant" over "insistant" and "insensitive" any day.